So lately I’ve been at a loss of what to write about. Shocker I know. But sincerely nothing has been blog worthy. So here’s just an update that I’m still alive and doing well. Well, well most of the time. Mentally I’m exhausted. Ginger and I are dealing with some not great behavioral issues with Dude. We’ve chalked it up to a control thing. Before I go into any sort of detail, you should know, he does not know about the bun I’m baking in the oven. This is really hard for me to write about. admitting I’m having an actual parenting problem. Meltdowns are minor compared to the shit he’s been pulling. And literally we’re talking shit. Oh and mustard.
So started off by me working away in the office..Ho hum ho hum…and Dudes playing in his room. Or is he? This is nothing out of the ordinary for my house. I have always been able to trust Dude. He’s never been the kid you have to watch out for if he’s too quiet. He knows when I’m working its time for him to play or colour, or watch TV. Pretty much anything goes as long as Mom isn’t disturbed. So anyways I’m finished up and decide to let Dude know I’m still alive..and make sure he is. And there is it. A Big. Fat. Turd. Sitting on the carpet staring at me with its stinky eyes. Dude obviously knew after the fact this was not his best idea to date, because he had been silently trying to clean up his mess with my bathroom hand soap. If your thinking accident, I can assure you not. Turds do not just fall out of a person. If they did you’d be wearing depends yourself. Yes I am at least glad he was trying to clean it up. But that’s not the point. I realize at this point his room needs a good clean. Never know where else theses turds could be hiding. So we clean everything (and by we I mean me) and purge a lot. Any old toys and odds and ends he’s decided to hoard in his room. You’d be surprised at what 4 year olds decide what would be a good prize to keep. However he was not surprised to see Me, Mom, think otherwise. All clothes not in drawers got washed. Clean or dirty. All bedding. Floor cleaned and vacuumed, and all toys back where they belong. In the basement. The only thing I left, were clean clothes, his bed, and his box of chalk. It was like a brand new room. And I was happy with it.
After a couple days everyone had put the incident in the past. And then…I went in to get the dirty laundry and there it was. Hiding under some dirty clothes. The chalk container. Emptied of chalk. Full of shit. Fanfkingtastic! As you probably would be aswell…I’m disgusted. It takes a lot (I’m guessing) of thought and concentration to shit in a tiny pail. And then I look up. There are pretty pictures of stick people on the wall. Some in blue pen, some in black, and some in red. Then I turn and pick up more clothes (and I was also wondering where all these dirty clothes came from in only 4 days) and there we have it. Mustard. On the carpet. Dried. Soaked in. Mustard. Awesome. Thank you Child. This is exactly what I wanted to clean today. Shit. Mustard. And pen on the walls. Have I mentioned we are renters?
Lucky for Dude Cleaning lady was over. I had time to take a lot of deep breaths. He got a talking to once she left…after 2 hours. But I would have liked to strangle the kid. Not really. Well maybe. Totally kidding. Actually, probably kinda. Not gunna lie.
After some time, and googling, and talking with other, wiser parents of older children, and my midwife. I’ve found out that these kind of behaviors are common in children. At least in some. I guess they notice a change in environment and feel like they aren’t getting quite as much attention, and they are trying to gain control. Control and attention. Perfect.
If you’re wondering if I got Picasso’s art cleaned up, the answer is yes. And no. Black pen, even with magic eraser is one son of a beep to get off white walls. Thank you Mr. Clean for being ever so reliable. Mustard on the other hand not so much.
And for your other two questions of;
What are we doing to fix this problem? and Where was I during the second incident?
Well we are focusing on getting Dude the attention he is looking for…positive attention that is. Looks like we need to be spending some more “quality” time. Good thing summer is coming. Ginger will be working less (hopefully) than the 156 hours every 2 weeks, and camping season is just around the corner. And second, where was I you asked? Well I was sleeping. Napping actually. But before you jump to conclusions so was Dude. At least he was when I had laid down. How long he was up before waking me up is something you and I will both never know. Long enough to poop in a pail, make some beautiful art, and decide yellow was going to be the palette of choice for his HQ.
I bet your hoping for my sake this was the end of these undesirable events. It wasn’t. We were out of town last weekend, and stopped at a very large, very busy mall (previously to going to the mall, we spent the night at a hotel, where we as a family enjoyed activities such as watching TV while in the jaccuzi and water sliding). Anyways we weren’t shopping 10 minutes and out of no where, Dude bolts in the opposite direction. Which is another act, totally out of character..atleast for my perfect little rugrat. Luckily Ginger was able to see him running. Do you think he’d come when being called though? Of course not. Lets make this shopping trip a marathon. What he probably didn’t know is that Dads are fast runners. And they always win. And last but not least. We had supper like usual 3 nights ago, we visited, and then Dude got ready for bed, and I tucked him in. Just like every night. We had company over that night. He was here for a course and stopped by for a quick visit. Apparently Dude hadn’t been sleeping, because we heard some banging noises. We thought it might be the neighbors, but checking on Dude is never a bad idea (especially lately). And there he was. Caught. Red handed. Or brown is more like it. Thought he was missing out on the action, so he did what he knew, gets adults attention best… Yay.
Now I can hopefully say this is the end of shitty situation I’ve had the pleasure of cleaning lately. Hopefully it’s a phase. And hopefully it’s over. Dude woke up sick this morning, and as every parent knows, no matter how naughty a child has been, when they come down with something, the world stops, nothing they’ve ever done matters, and ALL your attention is on them and making them feel better again. I bet this is going to be right up his alley.
Did I tell you Ginger and I booked a trip to Jamaica sans kido in 36 days?