Well good morning Tuesday! After I rolled off the blog yesterday, Monday wasn’t anything short of exciting. Scratch that. I meant overwhelming. As you probably wouldn’t know yet. We (Ginger and I) are getting married in approximately exactly 9 months. Yay right? -wait for it- In the DOMINICAN!!! Paarrttaaay!  Double Yay! We can’t wait. Everything is booked, I have my dress, date is picked, and invitations are sent. Already received 2 RSVPs (one was a no, but hey who’s counting). Including Ginger, myself, and Dude, there is about 40 family members and friends who have put their deposit down to spend our special day, and week, with us in Punta Cana. Nothing could be more perfect! Until yesterday. It all changes. I can’t even tell you why I did it, what gravitated me towards Shoppers, but I went in. And I only went for one specific item.  It must be serious when a woman slightly addicted to shopping, and unconsciously makes it a goal to spend more than $100 in any given store in which sells merchandise only buys ONE ITEM!

A pack of gum.

Just kidding. A pregnancy test.  So go home, pee on it, don’t wait 3 minutes, and look at it. Now before I tell you the results. Ginger and I have been trying for baby number 2 for the last 9 months. (what is it with 9 months everywhere?) We somewhat stopped in January…and kind of gave up…for the simple fact we have a destination wedding coming up. And if were being honest I secretly thought Ginger wasn’t working… Rude I know. But you can never never never blame yourself. Woman rule number 1) you are always right. Woman rule number 2) It is never your fault. Soo anyways… we had stopped trying. And then BAM! Two lines. Instantly. And after 3 minutes, they were the proudest damn two pink lines you ever did see. Finally a positive! Oh wait. Oh fk! Wedding is in 9  months. Babies take 9 months! Do I cry? I can’t cry we wanted this. Ok I’ll hyperventilate. Holy fk it’s for real. Oh shit my finger tips are tingling. Oh fk this anxiety can’t be good for the…the.. omfg the baby! Call Ginger. No Can’t call Ginger he’s working. Call Mom. No can’t tell mom, have to wait until person and Dads home from work. Oh no I’m going to get fat. My dress isn’t going to fit. Now I’m sobbing a bit. definitely feeling sorry for myself. Fk my mother in-law was right. Bitch. So was preggo friend. Double bitch. Fk. Fk. Fk. Fksakes for mother in-law and preggo friends for being right. I hate that mother in-law gets to say I told you so. I hate preggo friend gets to say I told you so even more. Fk shit. Fk. Shit. Fk. Email travel agent.

Subject: Uh oh..

Hey so I have a bitter sweet situation on my hands… Looks like I might be pregnant….What are mine and my guests options? Please tell me we have some. …ahhhh worst timing ever!!

Her response.

Oooh that is bitter sweet! Didn’t Ginger’s mom think that was going to happen and I said don’t do it?? lol jk…

Gee wizzz I’m super glad I was so predictable people.

Call bestfriend. No answer. Waaahh. Time to go get Dude from school. Sob about dress. Almost get in accident. Pull it together woman. It’s not the end of the world. Buuuutttt it isssss the end of the wooorrrrllddd! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  Ok. So deep breath. Pull it together. You only have 9 months as Dude being your only child, and 4 hours to think of a cute way to tell Ginger hes going to be a dad again.

Get home, start planning. Looking up ways on the google. Then what. He pulls up. He’s home. 2 hours early. What?! Shit. scrap that idea. Ok. Just tell him. Showed him the stick. His response.

“Pee on another one in a few days then come talk to me”

Uhm what? Is this a joke? Are you being serious right now? Oh gawd now I really want to cry. Not a funny joke Ginger. Talk about your baby mama drama!

And with all this going on, I completely forgot about meeting a stranger at a gas station that I later realized doesn’t exist in my town, to drop off an item, she “bought” from me off of Facebook. I’m such a tool. Perfect example of how self centered people (me) can be. First world problems. Today I’m cool, and collected, and 2nd day of the next 9 months. Which I’m sure will be crazy with my life problems…which to anyone else wouldn’t be problems..I mean I still get a wedding, and a baby. I think I need to suck it all the fk up and deal.