Long time no see..well for me anyways.. I took an extra long weekend from blogging. Didn’t have much to say, and I don’t now either. Thought I’d drop a line and let you know I’m still alive. Well Since last Wednesday, regretfully, nothing super eventful, or blogworthy if you will, has happened. I could tell you about how I couldn’t hold in my secret. You know the B word. (I’m talking about the baby). So I broke down and told my awesome step Mom. Ginger and I were waiting to tell our parents in person. My daddy-o wasn’t going to be home until, well now last Friday. He’d been away working. I had to tell the awesome step Mom. We see each other almost everyday…and even if I don’t see her, we still talk. She’s more like my best friend. I can talk to her about anything. From periods and bloating, to parenting, to sex and blow jobs, and waxing va-jay jays to what I did that wasn’t so great or exciting in my day to everything in between. Usually if we’re hanging out..when not at her house drinking coffee and smoking cigars, we go for lunch or supper, or just drinks and appys. Our favorite restaurant is Earls, so we go there a lot.. Once a week at the very least. If were not chatting Kathys over food..its tattoos. I’d say that’s our second favorite past-time. So since there’s a few of these I’ve had to cut out of schedule since being knocked up..I’ve been trying to avoid Awesome Mom. I knew I’d be all awkward, and she’d figure it out. Plus I’m a bad liar..and I’d look guilty about something I’m sure. So anyways..while doing none of previously mentioned things, we text. It’s our primary way of communication. And Screeewww you! If you think we can’t effectively show emotions or have a real emotional connection over texting. Those people who say that…do not have the emoji app…allowing to efficiently, and effectively show emotions with plain text. So anyways, that’s how I broke the news to her. Ok, maybe that was a bit impersonal..but we were texting..and I couldn’t hold it in. Not only that, she wasn’t exactly up for drinks and appys the following Friday. Not that she wasn’t up for it, but Daddy-o wasn’t sure if he’d be up for it, once he got home from work. I knew I had to make them up for it. Let them know it was important. So I broke down. I told her. Well I never came right out and said “I’m pregnant”. No. I sent her a picture of the stick I pissed on. (Ew a bit? Sorry). So it worked. After that she was on board. She said we’d keep it a secret from Daddy-o, and I told her I wouldn’t tell Ginger she knew. Secrets all around. So as far as I know Daddy-o doesn’t know Awesome Mom knew before him, which is fantastic..he might be a little upset..but can you blame me? I don’t think so…keepin a secret from your best friend, is like keeping a secret from yourself. Impossible. I wanted to tell her the minute I freaked out when I saw those two pink lines..but I knew I had to tell Ginger first..well first after I told the travel agent..and the Bestie. So now I have 2 more weeks until we can tell the In-laws. The anticipation is killing me! I’m playing it over in my head. We’ll get there. Ginger will go see what his Dad is working on, I’ll go see what Mommy In-law needs helps with..my guess is supper probably..we’ll bullshit with them, we’ll have supper. Somewhere in there I may be offered A drink..which I will accept..but not drink..just to ward of suspicion. Then Ginger will tell them the news. Mommy in-law is a crier. So she might cry, until she realizes baby B will be here when we were suppose to be leaving…then she’ll say “Didn’t I tell you? I told you, I told you so.” Not too sure what gramps gunna say. He’s a quiet guy..and hope hes not too mad about the trip being moved..Thats the trouble with quiet people. You never know quite what they’re thinking. I can usually read people pretty good. My father in-law though..no chance in hell. So usually when I can’t tell, and he might possibly be less than pleased, I smile a huge awkward unnatural smile…I’ve heard smiles are contagious..so hopefully it brightens his mood…instead of thinking that I just look stupid. And then hopefully everyone will be happy..I mean it wont be the last time a plane leaves to the DR. I hope in laws think of that right away. Like I said that’s still two weeks away..and then I have another 5 long weeks before we tell the world. By telling the world, I mean announcing it on Facebook. April Fools is coming up, and I almost considered saying I was pregnant then…but then I can’t say just kidding..and the rest of the family wont know yet. So bad idea. You’re the lucky ones. You get to know about my whole life, pretty much just when it happens. There are no secrets here. Like I said before…you don’t censor your diary. Although…maybe I’ll rethink that statement..or maybe not. Sucky eyed prudes should have left a long time ago.
Well good morning Tuesday! After I rolled off the blog yesterday, Monday wasn’t anything short of
exciting. Scratch that. I meant overwhelming. As you probably wouldn’t know yet. We (Ginger and I) are getting married in approximately exactly 9 months. Yay right? -wait for it- In the DOMINICAN!!! Paarrttaaay! Double Yay! We can’t wait. Everything is booked, I have my dress, date is picked, and invitations are sent. Already received 2 RSVPs (one was a no, but hey who’s counting). Including Ginger, myself, and Dude, there is about 40 family members and friends who have put their deposit down to spend our special day, and week, with us in Punta Cana. Nothing could be more perfect! Until yesterday. It all changes. I can’t even tell you why I did it, what gravitated me towards Shoppers, but I went in. And I only went for one specific item. It must be serious when a woman slightly addicted to shopping, and unconsciously makes it a goal to spend more than $100 in any given store in which sells merchandise only buys ONE ITEM!
A pack of gum.
Just kidding. A pregnancy test. So go home, pee on it, don’t wait 3 minutes, and look at it. Now before I tell you the results. Ginger and I have been trying for baby number 2 for the last 9 months. (what is it with 9 months everywhere?) We somewhat stopped in January…and kind of gave up…for the simple fact we have a destination wedding coming up. And if were being honest I secretly thought Ginger wasn’t working… Rude I know. But you can never never never blame yourself. Woman rule number 1) you are always right. Woman rule number 2) It is never your fault. Soo anyways… we had stopped trying. And then BAM! Two lines. Instantly. And after 3 minutes, they were the proudest damn two pink lines you ever did see. Finally a positive! Oh wait. Oh fk! Wedding is in 9 months. Babies take 9 months! Do I cry? I can’t cry we wanted this. Ok I’ll hyperventilate. Holy fk it’s for real. Oh shit my finger tips are tingling. Oh fk this anxiety can’t be good for the…the.. omfg the baby! Call Ginger. No Can’t call Ginger he’s working. Call Mom. No can’t tell mom, have to wait until person and Dads home from work. Oh no I’m going to get fat. My dress isn’t going to fit. Now I’m sobbing a bit. definitely feeling sorry for myself. Fk my mother in-law was right. Bitch. So was preggo friend. Double bitch. Fk. Fk. Fk. Fksakes for mother in-law and preggo friends for being right. I hate that mother in-law gets to say I told you so. I hate preggo friend gets to say I told you so even more. Fk shit. Fk. Shit. Fk. Email travel agent.
Subject: Uh oh..
Hey so I have a bitter sweet situation on my hands… Looks like I might be pregnant….What are mine and my guests options? Please tell me we have some. …ahhhh worst timing ever!!
Oooh that is bitter sweet! Didn’t Ginger’s mom think that was going to happen and I said don’t do it?? lol jk…
Gee wizzz I’m super glad I was so predictable people.
Call bestfriend. No answer. Waaahh. Time to go get Dude from school. Sob about dress. Almost get in accident. Pull it together woman. It’s not the end of the world. Buuuutttt it isssss the end of the wooorrrrllddd! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Ok. So deep breath. Pull it together. You only have 9 months as Dude being your only child, and 4 hours to think of a cute way to tell Ginger hes going to be a dad again.
Get home, start planning. Looking up ways on the google. Then what. He pulls up. He’s home. 2 hours early. What?! Shit. scrap that idea. Ok. Just tell him. Showed him the stick. His response.
“Pee on another one in a few days then come talk to me”
Uhm what? Is this a joke? Are you being serious right now? Oh gawd now I really want to cry. Not a funny joke Ginger. Talk about your baby mama drama!
And with all this going on, I completely forgot about meeting a stranger at a gas station that I later realized doesn’t exist in my town, to drop off an item, she “bought” from me off of Facebook. I’m such a tool. Perfect example of how self centered people (me) can be. First world problems. Today I’m cool, and collected, and 2nd day of the next 9 months. Which I’m sure will be crazy with my life problems…which to anyone else wouldn’t be problems..I mean I still get a wedding, and a baby. I think I need to suck it all the fk up and deal.
Rolled out of bed, made a Pinterest breakfast. It tasted like ass. Thats 4 for the Pinterest fails. I look like shit, I’ve got bed head, bags under my eyes, but at least I’m enjoying my morning Keurig coffee. Sounds just like a Monday to me. House is a disaster, after the weekend of no cleaning. Make that a long weekend. I never ended cleaning on my Friday cleaning day either.Days like today make me think seriously about hiring someone to come in even once a month to clean everything. Ginger (my fiance) and I had talked seriously about it once..having someone come in once every 3 months to do the walls, carpets etc…but he must have forgotten to take his frugal pills that morning, because if I ever brought it up to him again…he’d probably laugh, and question why I can’t do it. My argument of doing such things other than cooking and cleaning, and making sure Dude doesn’t die, never seem to hold up. So much freedom with being a house hermit, but then again, so much is expected…I’m so hard done by I know.
So this weekend was well alright. It was more like a long weekend because the brat didn’t have school on Friday. What is it with all the no school days anyways? Am I paying for all these teacher workshop things? Probably am…do they even have those in preschool? My guess is no. So enjoy your day off while I pay for your mani-pedi and lunch at Earls. The only reason Dude is even in preschool, was so he could interact with other kids. Hanging out with your momma all day everyday probably wasn’t teaching him a whole lot of well…much. After all the basics why would I..my first view on all that was ship em off to school that’s what teachers are for. After that school tour I don’t think that’s the route we’ll be going. I’m kind of half expected to homeschool (even if I’m not actually). Almost everyone on my side of the family does. I wasn’t myself. But I did hate school. I’m on the fence if I actually would have wanted to be. Ginger wishes he was. All the family I have is pretty awesome. Not to brag or anything. There not all weirdo-socially-retarded kids whos mothers make all their clothes. (not that theres anything wrong with a little homemade here or there). But you see where I’m getting. Theres sterotypes, lets not pretend…but lets open our minds a bit to know that not every homeschooler is homely.
Anyways totally off topic. I was going to tell you about my weekend! Saturday was Awesome! Ginger and I got together with our special friends (my only friends) and took them for a steam bath. No not together. I didn’t get to see girlfriend naked. Even for me that might have been a bit far when were trying to stay on the friendship scale of things. Topless is one thing but naked…well you get it. As far as we know they enjoyed it. We did, and we always do. If your not familar with what it means to go steam bathing..Google it. Last winter we’d go every week. What a nice way it was to end off the work week, and help rid your body of toxins…that is before you go and down a few cold ones. Thats exactly what we did this time too. Kind of contradictory I know, but it’s kind of become a tradition for Ginger and I. You steam, you drink. thats just the way it is. We tried out the Brewhouse for the first time for all of us. For me it was a little loud, but drinks were awesome, and the food was even better. If your a Canadian, or visiting Canada make sure you do check out the Canadian Brewhouse. If you like mozza sticks you’ll love the ones they have there. It’s orange cheddar and the cheese is completed melted inside…melted cheesey, deep fried goodness. Get in my BELL-AY!!! The deep fried pickles are well just alright..I prefer Hooters, but its not something that you can come by very often so its a treat. Everyone said the double dill wings were really good, and we had nachos, and deep fried perogies. Get the nachos forsure but with everything we had, you do not need a full order. The perogies I wouldn’t order again..they make them sound like they’re homemade. There not. If you’ve ever had homemade perogies, store bought just doesn’t compare..but if you haven’t I suppose they’re pretty good. The ninja turtle danggler (i think thats what those neat drinks are called) is yummerz! Its a shot in a glass you drink through a straw..it tastes like melted slushy. mm mmm yum! Of course I drank caesars..the West End was my favorite. They have a whole list of different caesars they make, and they list the ingredients. This was totally up my alley. If you go on a Saturday you get to drink whatever beer they give you..in a boot…not oringinal your thinking..well you get to keep this boot! Now thats exciting for those of you who steal mugs for your collection! Now you don’t have to! That probably takes some of the excitement out of taking the mug home, but if your a play it by the rules kinda gal like me, this one really floats your boat.
Sunday was a more of a relaxing day. I took the rugrat out, and we spent the day watching my younger bros bonspeil. Whats a bonspiel you ask. Why its a curling tournament. For those of you not familiar with curling (as I am not also) the thought that curling is somehow boring..is well..still true. That is if you don’t have family curling..or your watching it on TV. Then I can totally see how curling would be well boring. As contrary to belief curling is actually intense! And it really is a lot harder than it looks! Theres so much thought and precision put into it! I thought you just threw the rock down the ice and hope in landed in the middle of the circle.. (which is called a button for you lack-of-curling-educated-people)..
Ginger got off early Sunday so we headed home after sometime at the arena, to spend the rest of the afternoon with him..turns out he got off even earlier than expected..and we planned to spend the rest of the day together… His idea of spending the day together was napping. Oh brother. I get you work all week, and my life is pretty easy..but I wished I would have just stayed and watched the bros..that was much more exciting. Oh well I guess. Its not his last day (or afternoon) off ever..and its not the last time I’ll see a bonspiel. So not the end of the world.
The relaxing afternoon at home gave me time to check up on my eBay..I actually won a purse yesterday..2nd one in a week..so I guess bidding isn’t that bad. It may becoming an addiction..bidding that is..There is a auction wars group on Facebook for my area. Lucky me won eye lash extensions. Woohoo! I don’t care how fake you may think it is. I’m blessing myself with what God forgot to bless me with. I’m all for body modification if it makes you feel better about yourself. Not saying every 17 year old girl should go out and get a boob job…but sometimes what should be in the cards..always isn’t..and if you don’t cross the -over-the-top- line than I think its fine… But that’s my view on it. If I ever have a daughter, and you ask me when she’s 16 what my views are on the situation.. I can not say if I’d still honestly agree with what I’m saying now. But as for now, I have a son in preschool, that I’m pretty sure doesn’t want a boob job or eyelash extensions anytime in the near future (and hopefully never). Speaking of preschool, its probably time I see him off.