Lately in the Life of the Guilty Mom

So in my life lately, soccer season has begun. Bring on all the snotty  nose kids and balls coming at me while I stand and pathetic try to block their shots. For the record, they’re pretty good at getting a goal on me. Especially when there’s 4 or more of them all shooting at once. If I ever hear one remark from any of the parents about what a shitty coach (or assistant rather) I am..I’d tell them to shove a soccer ball up their ass because I didn’t see them stepping up to volunteer. Speaking more on soccer. We have 9?  Yeah I believe 9 kids on our team..we’ve only had 2 days so far so forgive me for not knowing. 9 kids to play 4 on 4 games for a couple of minutes at a time, can get pretty confusing pretty quick when your only subing 1 in at a time because they need to go suck on moms tit. One mom expressed her pissed offness to me last night. Which in all honestly I think is fair. I mean when you only get the same few kids going on I can see why. I also don’t agree with having a child on the team that’s the son or daughter of the coach…atleast not when its clear they are getting special treatment… This was the other concern of the said Mom. “Seems funny she said”. Yeah, actually that is funny. Your kid gets put on and taken off like everybody else. Not when they feel like. At least those are the rules I bet the other teams are playing with. And if we were playing with any other rules, Dude would have it so he was on the entire time. And he’s not. Why? Because it’s not fair! Open up your eyes Parent-Coach. Oh well. Like I said, it was only day 2 yesterday. We only have 7 1/2 weeks left. It should get better. Right? RIGHT?!?!

The other topic of discussion lately is all about camping season. Spring is here and Maylong weekend is fast approaching. We wont be heading out this year. At least we don’t plan to. It’s crazy busy and you have to find a spot on the Thursday prior to get a good camping spot. Damn you Maylongers who camp once a year and that’s when. I’m not really bothered by it actually. Ginger is supposed to not work weekends, so if it goes back to that this summer, we could go any weekend. That’s the beauty of me not working outside of the home. Ginger’s schedule is the only one we need to work around. Also on another note. Don’t those Maylongers know theres a long weekend every month? Maybe they don’t because we don’t call it June long..we do have an August long I do believe though..pretty sure that’s not its technical term…but I have heard it used.

However the fact that it will be crazy busy Maylong weekend is not the only reason we don’t plan on going this year. We have yet to buy a trailer. It’s hard when you have certain criteria you’re trying to meet when purchasing one. You have to look at if you’ll just be using this year and buying another next, or if your buying from a dealership or off Kijiji. Plus when you have a family, bunks are nice to have. And a slide really opens it up…and then we can throw in there I prefer hardwalls…oh and it can’t be too old. This is a big deciding factor for me. We’ve had older campers in the past and don’t get me wrong they do the trick. But for once, I’d like one that I can use everything because it all works, we dont have to fix or repair anything, and I don’t have to fabreeze every 5 minutes because it has that old camper smell that just doesn’t go away.

Picky Picky. I know. But if your spending a pretty penny on something, you better be happy with it.

So we’ve narrowed it down to this. We will not be buying from a dealership, financing is not an option for us. We hate debt. It stresses me right the fk out. Right now we have a mortgage and a truck payment. Everything else is bought outright, and that’s the way we like it. We also hate the idea of paying mostly interest fees when you finance. What a joke. And what they have at dealerships that fits our criteria..is so old and way marked up. So that limits our search A LOT. This leaves us trying to find what were looking for, in the hands of the sellers. literally. Looking this morning, I believe I may have found 3 that could work for us. 1 fits all my criteria. I found a not old trailer, it’s got bunks, queen bed, hardwall, and slide. The crappy end of the stick is it’s a rear bed slide. We like the couch slide for obvious reasons. The other 2 don’t have slides, they’re smaller, and around the same year as the one I mentioned. Which is okay. We’ll settle for no slide. We’ve decided that this will be a this summer camper only, and a slide is no biggy. I’m happy. Not because we’re getting a camper. That was enevitable..we just didn’t know when. Nope that’s not why. Why is because Ginger and I disagree way too much about what to buy when it comes to campers. We didn’t argue this much when deciding what home to buy. I had come to the decision that if we couldn’t stop bickering about it, then him and Dude would go camping in whatever they wanted this year, and me, well I’d go to Vegas. I mean why not for the weekend? It’s probably cheaper than camping anyways. My argument “If we want to go places we only have until November.”

November is when the little munchkin will be here..and then you know what that means. We we never be kidless for the following approximately 12 following months.

We announced the little munchkin finally. Sent out wedding postponing postcards last week, that say were postponing because there’s been a bump in the runway. Its cute.. my awesome girl here in town at a local print shop made them for me. She’s so awesome. She went a little artsy on me, and designed an airplane on a runways going on a brides baby bump. I’ve already had 4 people tell me how awesome they are. Ginger even liked them when he seen them, and that’s always a good sign!

Well now that I’ve got you all caught up on my life, its time for me to get off the laptop and go live it some more. It’s spa day today, and time to get my piggys all prettied up!

It’s not official until its Facebook official. Thoughts on keeping Baby Ginger a Secret.

Long time no see..well for me anyways..  I took an extra long weekend from blogging. Didn’t have much to say, and I don’t now either. Thought I’d drop a line and let you know I’m still alive. Well Since last Wednesday, regretfully, nothing super eventful, or blogworthy if you will, has happened. I could tell you about how I couldn’t hold in my secret. You know the B word. (I’m talking about the baby). So I broke down and told my awesome step Mom. Ginger and I were waiting to tell our parents in person. My daddy-o wasn’t going to be home until, well now last Friday. He’d been away working. I had to tell the awesome step Mom. We see each other almost everyday…and even if I don’t see her, we still talk. She’s more like my best friend. I can talk to her about anything. From periods and bloating, to parenting, to sex and blow jobs, and waxing va-jay jays to what I did that wasn’t so great or exciting in my day to everything in between. Usually if we’re hanging out..when not at her house drinking coffee and smoking cigars, we go for lunch or supper, or just drinks and appys. Our favorite restaurant is Earls, so we go there a lot.. Once a week at the very least. If were not chatting Kathys over food..its tattoos. I’d say that’s our second favorite past-time. So since there’s a few of these I’ve had to cut out of schedule  since being knocked up..I’ve been trying to avoid Awesome Mom. I knew I’d be all awkward, and she’d figure it out. Plus I’m a bad liar..and I’d look guilty about something I’m sure. So anyways..while doing none of previously mentioned things, we text. It’s our primary way of communication. And Screeewww you! If you think we can’t effectively show emotions or have a real emotional connection over texting. Those people who say that…do not have the emoji app…allowing to efficiently, and effectively show emotions with plain text. So anyways, that’s how I broke the news to her. Ok, maybe that was a bit impersonal..but we were texting..and I couldn’t hold it in. Not only that, she wasn’t exactly up for drinks and appys the following Friday. Not that she wasn’t up for it, but Daddy-o wasn’t sure if he’d be up for it, once he got home from work. I knew I had to make them up for it. Let them know it was important. So I broke down. I told her. Well I never came right out and said “I’m pregnant”. No. I sent her a picture of the stick I pissed on. (Ew a bit? Sorry). So it worked. After that she was on board. She said we’d keep it a secret from Daddy-o, and I told her I wouldn’t tell Ginger she knew. Secrets all around. So as far as I know Daddy-o doesn’t know Awesome Mom knew before him, which is fantastic..he might be a little upset..but can you blame me? I don’t think so…keepin a secret from your best friend, is like keeping a secret from yourself. Impossible. I wanted to tell her the minute I freaked out when I saw those two pink lines..but I knew I had to tell Ginger first..well first after I told the travel agent..and the Bestie. So now I have 2 more weeks until we can tell the In-laws. The anticipation is killing me! I’m playing it over in my head. We’ll get there. Ginger will go see what his Dad is working on, I’ll go see what Mommy In-law needs helps with..my guess is supper probably..we’ll bullshit with them, we’ll have supper. Somewhere in there I may be offered A drink..which I will accept..but not drink..just to ward of suspicion. Then Ginger will tell them the news. Mommy in-law is a crier. So she might cry, until she realizes baby B will be here when we were suppose to be leaving…then she’ll say “Didn’t I tell you? I told you, I told you so.” Not too sure what gramps gunna say. He’s a quiet guy..and hope hes not too mad about the trip being moved..Thats the trouble with quiet people. You never know quite what they’re thinking. I can usually read people pretty good. My father in-law though..no chance in hell. So usually when I can’t tell, and he might possibly be less than pleased, I smile a huge awkward unnatural smile…I’ve heard smiles are contagious..so hopefully it brightens his mood…instead of thinking that I just look stupid. And then hopefully everyone will be happy..I mean it wont be the last time a plane leaves to the DR. I hope in laws think of that right away. Like I said that’s still two weeks away..and then I have another 5 long weeks before we tell the world. By telling the world, I mean announcing it on Facebook. April Fools is coming up, and I almost considered saying I was pregnant then…but then I can’t say just kidding..and the rest of the family wont know yet. So bad idea. You’re the lucky ones. You get to know about my whole life, pretty much just when it happens. There are no secrets here. Like I said before…you don’t censor your diary. Although…maybe I’ll rethink that statement..or maybe not. Sucky eyed prudes should have left a long time ago.

Hold the stick!

Well good morning Tuesday! After I rolled off the blog yesterday, Monday wasn’t anything short of exciting. Scratch that. I meant overwhelming. As you probably wouldn’t know yet. We (Ginger and I) are getting married in approximately exactly 9 months. Yay right? -wait for it- In the DOMINICAN!!! Paarrttaaay!  Double Yay! We can’t wait. Everything is booked, I have my dress, date is picked, and invitations are sent. Already received 2 RSVPs (one was a no, but hey who’s counting). Including Ginger, myself, and Dude, there is about 40 family members and friends who have put their deposit down to spend our special day, and week, with us in Punta Cana. Nothing could be more perfect! Until yesterday. It all changes. I can’t even tell you why I did it, what gravitated me towards Shoppers, but I went in. And I only went for one specific item.  It must be serious when a woman slightly addicted to shopping, and unconsciously makes it a goal to spend more than $100 in any given store in which sells merchandise only buys ONE ITEM!

A pack of gum.

Just kidding. A pregnancy test.  So go home, pee on it, don’t wait 3 minutes, and look at it. Now before I tell you the results. Ginger and I have been trying for baby number 2 for the last 9 months. (what is it with 9 months everywhere?) We somewhat stopped in January…and kind of gave up…for the simple fact we have a destination wedding coming up. And if were being honest I secretly thought Ginger wasn’t working… Rude I know. But you can never never never blame yourself. Woman rule number 1) you are always right. Woman rule number 2) It is never your fault. Soo anyways… we had stopped trying. And then BAM! Two lines. Instantly. And after 3 minutes, they were the proudest damn two pink lines you ever did see. Finally a positive! Oh wait. Oh fk! Wedding is in 9  months. Babies take 9 months! Do I cry? I can’t cry we wanted this. Ok I’ll hyperventilate. Holy fk it’s for real. Oh shit my finger tips are tingling. Oh fk this anxiety can’t be good for the…the.. omfg the baby! Call Ginger. No Can’t call Ginger he’s working. Call Mom. No can’t tell mom, have to wait until person and Dads home from work. Oh no I’m going to get fat. My dress isn’t going to fit. Now I’m sobbing a bit. definitely feeling sorry for myself. Fk my mother in-law was right. Bitch. So was preggo friend. Double bitch. Fk. Fk. Fk. Fksakes for mother in-law and preggo friends for being right. I hate that mother in-law gets to say I told you so. I hate preggo friend gets to say I told you so even more. Fk shit. Fk. Shit. Fk. Email travel agent.

Subject: Uh oh..

Hey so I have a bitter sweet situation on my hands… Looks like I might be pregnant….What are mine and my guests options? Please tell me we have some. …ahhhh worst timing ever!!

Her response.

Oooh that is bitter sweet! Didn’t Ginger’s mom think that was going to happen and I said don’t do it?? lol jk…

Gee wizzz I’m super glad I was so predictable people.

Call bestfriend. No answer. Waaahh. Time to go get Dude from school. Sob about dress. Almost get in accident. Pull it together woman. It’s not the end of the world. Buuuutttt it isssss the end of the wooorrrrllddd! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  Ok. So deep breath. Pull it together. You only have 9 months as Dude being your only child, and 4 hours to think of a cute way to tell Ginger hes going to be a dad again.

Get home, start planning. Looking up ways on the google. Then what. He pulls up. He’s home. 2 hours early. What?! Shit. scrap that idea. Ok. Just tell him. Showed him the stick. His response.

“Pee on another one in a few days then come talk to me”

Uhm what? Is this a joke? Are you being serious right now? Oh gawd now I really want to cry. Not a funny joke Ginger. Talk about your baby mama drama!

And with all this going on, I completely forgot about meeting a stranger at a gas station that I later realized doesn’t exist in my town, to drop off an item, she “bought” from me off of Facebook. I’m such a tool. Perfect example of how self centered people (me) can be. First world problems. Today I’m cool, and collected, and 2nd day of the next 9 months. Which I’m sure will be crazy with my life problems…which to anyone else wouldn’t be problems..I mean I still get a wedding, and a baby. I think I need to suck it all the fk up and deal.