Author Archives: guiltymomma

Lately in the Life of the Guilty Mom

Everyday Life, Parenting, Pregnancy Leave a comment

So in my life lately, soccer season has begun. Bring on all the snotty  nose kids and balls coming at me while I stand and pathetic try to block their shots. For the record, they’re pretty good at getting a goal on me. Especially when there’s 4 or more of them all shooting at once. If I ever hear one remark from any of the parents about what a shitty coach (or assistant rather) I am..I’d tell them to shove a soccer ball up their ass because I didn’t see them stepping up to volunteer. Speaking more on soccer. We have 9?  Yeah I believe 9 kids on our team..we’ve only had 2 days so far so forgive me for not knowing. 9 kids to play 4 on 4 games for a couple of minutes at a time, can get pretty confusing pretty quick when your only subing 1 in at a time because they need to go suck on moms tit. One mom expressed her pissed offness to me last night. Which in all honestly I think is fair. I mean when you only get the same few kids going on I can see why. I also don’t agree with having a child on the team that’s the son or daughter of the coach…atleast not when its clear they are getting special treatment… This was the other concern of the said Mom. “Seems funny she said”. Yeah, actually that is funny. Your kid gets put on and taken off like everybody else. Not when they feel like. At least those are the rules I bet the other teams are playing with. And if we were playing with any other rules, Dude would have it so he was on the entire time. And he’s not. Why? Because it’s not fair! Open up your eyes Parent-Coach. Oh well. Like I said, it was only day 2 yesterday. We only have 7 1/2 weeks left. It should get better. Right? RIGHT?!?!

The other topic of discussion lately is all about camping season. Spring is here and Maylong weekend is fast approaching. We wont be heading out this year. At least we don’t plan to. It’s crazy busy and you have to find a spot on the Thursday prior to get a good camping spot. Damn you Maylongers who camp once a year and that’s when. I’m not really bothered by it actually. Ginger is supposed to not work weekends, so if it goes back to that this summer, we could go any weekend. That’s the beauty of me not working outside of the home. Ginger’s schedule is the only one we need to work around. Also on another note. Don’t those Maylongers know theres a long weekend every month? Maybe they don’t because we don’t call it June long..we do have an August long I do believe though..pretty sure that’s not its technical term…but I have heard it used.

However the fact that it will be crazy busy Maylong weekend is not the only reason we don’t plan on going this year. We have yet to buy a trailer. It’s hard when you have certain criteria you’re trying to meet when purchasing one. You have to look at if you’ll just be using this year and buying another next, or if your buying from a dealership or off Kijiji. Plus when you have a family, bunks are nice to have. And a slide really opens it up…and then we can throw in there I prefer hardwalls…oh and it can’t be too old. This is a big deciding factor for me. We’ve had older campers in the past and don’t get me wrong they do the trick. But for once, I’d like one that I can use everything because it all works, we dont have to fix or repair anything, and I don’t have to fabreeze every 5 minutes because it has that old camper smell that just doesn’t go away.

Picky Picky. I know. But if your spending a pretty penny on something, you better be happy with it.

So we’ve narrowed it down to this. We will not be buying from a dealership, financing is not an option for us. We hate debt. It stresses me right the fk out. Right now we have a mortgage and a truck payment. Everything else is bought outright, and that’s the way we like it. We also hate the idea of paying mostly interest fees when you finance. What a joke. And what they have at dealerships that fits our criteria..is so old and way marked up. So that limits our search A LOT. This leaves us trying to find what were looking for, in the hands of the sellers. literally. Looking this morning, I believe I may have found 3 that could work for us. 1 fits all my criteria. I found a not old trailer, it’s got bunks, queen bed, hardwall, and slide. The crappy end of the stick is it’s a rear bed slide. We like the couch slide for obvious reasons. The other 2 don’t have slides, they’re smaller, and around the same year as the one I mentioned. Which is okay. We’ll settle for no slide. We’ve decided that this will be a this summer camper only, and a slide is no biggy. I’m happy. Not because we’re getting a camper. That was enevitable..we just didn’t know when. Nope that’s not why. Why is because Ginger and I disagree way too much about what to buy when it comes to campers. We didn’t argue this much when deciding what home to buy. I had come to the decision that if we couldn’t stop bickering about it, then him and Dude would go camping in whatever they wanted this year, and me, well I’d go to Vegas. I mean why not for the weekend? It’s probably cheaper than camping anyways. My argument “If we want to go places we only have until November.”

November is when the little munchkin will be here..and then you know what that means. We we never be kidless for the following approximately 12 following months.

We announced the little munchkin finally. Sent out wedding postponing postcards last week, that say were postponing because there’s been a bump in the runway. Its cute.. my awesome girl here in town at a local print shop made them for me. She’s so awesome. She went a little artsy on me, and designed an airplane on a runways going on a brides baby bump. I’ve already had 4 people tell me how awesome they are. Ginger even liked them when he seen them, and that’s always a good sign!

Well now that I’ve got you all caught up on my life, its time for me to get off the laptop and go live it some more. It’s spa day today, and time to get my piggys all prettied up!

A really shitty situation

Everyday Life, Parenting, Shopping Leave a comment

So lately I’ve been at a loss of what to write about. Shocker I know. But sincerely nothing has been blog worthy. So here’s just an update that I’m still alive and doing well. Well, well most of the time. Mentally I’m exhausted. Ginger and I are dealing with some not great behavioral issues with Dude. We’ve chalked it up to a control thing. Before I go into any sort of detail, you should know, he does not know about the bun I’m baking in the oven. This is really hard for me to write about. admitting I’m having an actual parenting problem. Meltdowns are minor compared to the shit he’s been pulling. And literally we’re talking shit. Oh and mustard.

So started off by me working away in the office..Ho hum ho hum…and Dudes playing in his room. Or is he? This is nothing out of the ordinary for my house. I have always been able to trust Dude. He’s never been the kid you have to watch out for if he’s too quiet. He knows when I’m working its time for him to play or colour, or watch TV. Pretty much anything goes as long as Mom isn’t disturbed. So anyways I’m finished up and decide to let Dude know I’m still alive..and make sure he is. And there is it. A Big. Fat. Turd. Sitting on the carpet staring at me with its stinky eyes. Dude obviously knew after the fact this was not his best idea to date, because he had been silently trying to clean up his mess with my bathroom hand soap. If your thinking accident, I can assure you not. Turds do not just fall out of a person. If they did you’d be wearing depends yourself. Yes I am at least glad he was trying to clean it up. But that’s not the point. I realize at this point his room needs a good clean. Never know where else theses turds could be hiding.  So we clean everything (and by we I mean me) and purge a lot. Any old toys and odds and ends he’s decided to hoard in his room. You’d be surprised at what 4 year olds decide what would be a good prize to keep. However he was not surprised to see Me, Mom, think otherwise. All clothes not in drawers got washed. Clean or dirty. All bedding. Floor cleaned and vacuumed, and all toys back where they belong. In the basement. The only thing I left, were clean clothes, his bed, and his box of chalk. It was like a brand new room. And I was happy with it.

After a couple days everyone had put the incident in the past. And then…I went in to get the dirty laundry and there it was. Hiding under some dirty clothes. The chalk container. Emptied of chalk. Full of shit. Fanfkingtastic! As you probably would be aswell…I’m disgusted. It takes a lot (I’m guessing) of thought and concentration to shit in a tiny pail. And then I look up. There are pretty pictures of stick people on the wall. Some in blue pen, some in black, and some in red. Then I turn and pick up more clothes (and I was also wondering where all these dirty clothes came from in only 4 days) and there we have it. Mustard. On the carpet. Dried. Soaked in. Mustard. Awesome. Thank you Child. This is exactly what I wanted to clean today. Shit. Mustard. And pen on the walls. Have I mentioned we are renters?

Lucky for Dude Cleaning lady was over.  I had time to take a lot of deep breaths. He got a talking to once she left…after 2 hours. But I would have liked to strangle the kid. Not really. Well maybe. Totally kidding. Actually, probably kinda. Not gunna lie.

After some time, and googling, and talking with other, wiser parents of older children, and my midwife. I’ve found out that these kind of behaviors are common in children. At least in some. I guess they notice a change in environment and feel like they aren’t getting quite as much attention, and they are trying to gain control. Control and attention. Perfect.

If you’re wondering if I got Picasso’s art cleaned up, the answer is yes. And no. Black pen, even with magic eraser is one son of a beep to get off white walls. Thank you Mr. Clean for being ever so reliable. Mustard on the other hand not so much.

And for your other two questions of;

What are we doing to fix this problem? and Where was I during the second incident?

Well we are focusing on getting Dude the attention he is looking for…positive attention that is. Looks like we need to be spending some more “quality” time. Good thing summer is coming.  Ginger will be working less (hopefully) than the 156 hours every 2 weeks, and camping season is just around the corner. And second, where was I you asked? Well I was sleeping. Napping actually. But before you jump to conclusions so was Dude. At least he was when I had laid down. How long he was up before waking me up is something you and I will both never know. Long enough to poop in a pail, make some beautiful art, and decide yellow was going to be the palette of choice for his HQ.

I bet your hoping for my sake this was the end of these undesirable events. It wasn’t. We were out of town last weekend, and stopped at a very large, very busy mall (previously to going to the mall, we spent the night at a hotel, where we as a family enjoyed activities such as watching TV while in the jaccuzi and water sliding). Anyways we weren’t shopping 10 minutes and out of no where, Dude bolts in the opposite direction. Which is another act, totally out of character..atleast for my perfect little rugrat. Luckily Ginger was able to see him running. Do you think he’d come when being called though? Of course not. Lets make this shopping trip a marathon. What he probably didn’t know is that Dads are fast runners. And they always win. And last but not least. We had supper like usual 3 nights ago, we visited, and then Dude got ready for bed, and I tucked him in. Just like every night. We had company over that night. He was here for a course and stopped by for a quick visit. Apparently Dude hadn’t been sleeping, because we heard some banging noises. We thought it might be the neighbors, but checking on Dude is never a bad idea (especially lately). And there he was. Caught. Red handed. Or brown is more like it. Thought he was missing out on the action, so he did what he knew, gets adults attention best… Yay.

Now I can hopefully say this is the end of shitty situation I’ve had the pleasure of cleaning lately. Hopefully it’s a phase. And hopefully it’s over. Dude woke up sick this morning, and as every parent knows, no matter how naughty a child has been, when they come down with something, the world stops, nothing they’ve ever done matters, and ALL your attention is on them and making them feel better again. I bet this is going to be right up his alley.

Did I tell you Ginger and I booked a trip to Jamaica sans kido in 36 days?

Kijiji + Timmys = One Happy Momma!

Everyday Life Leave a comment

Hello friends, colleagues, children of the corn, and fellow SAHMs. How has everyone been? Well as I last has said my bout of “feelin good” was only temporary. I’ve now moved on to waves of feeling not so hot, and starting to feel fat. 2 months down 7 to go. This better go by fast. I’m particularly not fond of sharing my body. Especially since I can only drink virgin caesar. You really don’t realize how good vodka actually tastes until you can no longer have any. Oh well I’m sure an alcohol free diet will be good for my body. Your we;come liver. I’ve also cut back on my caffeine intake. And not voluntarily either! I’m just totally turned off. Although I am drinking a Timmys ice coffee right this minute. It actually tastes good. Well see how baby likes it. Hopefully he-she does. I would enjoy having one of these every once in awhile.

So anywho..enough of pregnancy bullshit for a bit. I’d like to share a new guilty pleasure of mine. Cleaning Girl. That’s what I was doing at Timmys, having a meeting with Cleaning Girl. How professional I know. But we live in Canada..and I found her off Kijiji, so it’s probably the safest place to meet. Thank you Tim Hortons for providing many fellow Canadians with good coffee, and a safe meeting ground. I don’t really plan on sharing my news with any real people so good thing I have you. Not saying that you’re not “real people” but maybe you’re not. I mean you could be trolls…and they don’t count as real people sooooo….point justified. She’s going to come to my house and do some light house work. I haven’t been feeling too awesome lately (as you all know) and I figure she’ll clean things I don’t think to. I mean if were being honest, I’m not super particular. I’m an Aquarius, so I can walk by something 50 times and not see it to pick it up. I’m flighty like that. Lets blame it on the stars. Best part about it…I’m not even going behind Ginger’s back. Which I was going to do..but I caved and told him, and he actually agreed we could keep her! Yay! Thank you Ginga! He told me we can keep her until he-she is about 8 months old…I’m thinking we’ll become attached..me to Cleaning girl, him to having a super clean house..and we’ll get to keep her forever. Fingers crossed that’s the way it goes anyways…otherwise I just might have to go behind his back…he won’t notice. Just have to keep the rugrat from finding out so he doesn’t become a rat. Guess I’ll leave that until the times comes.

Anyways TTFN!

Good news to go around

Everyday Life Leave a comment

Well the Easter weekend is now behind us..well just about. It’s suppose to be Easter Monday today, but this morning is also April Fool’s Day..So do we just skip Easter and Move into April Fools? Around here we are. Except we’re skipping the whole April Fool’s aswell. 4-year-old boys can wait to learn of a day where its okay to play pranks on their mothers.

So the weekend that was much-anticipated has come and gone, and let me tell you, it went much better than expected! You know the weekend where we were telling the in-laws. Well turns out Papa in-law said he could tell something was different right away, before we even said anything. I asked if I looked fatter. He was nice about it. He said no. I feel fatter. It’s only been 7 weeks and I’ve already gained 3 lbs. Sheesh. He said it was the first day I’ve worn a hoodie around them..makes me wonder how I must normally look totally undressed…especially in the winter with no hoodies. Then Mom in-law said he had a dream I was pregnant, only a few days ago. Weird how people “know” before you tell them. So anyways they were of course good about being grandparents again, but that’s not the part I was worried about anyways. I was worried about telling them there may be some change of plans wedding trip wise. They were actually good about that too. So far most people have taken our news really well. So hopefully it goes well with everyone. I think the in-laws are a little bit happy we’re considering changing the destination wedding, to a here wedding…that is..if quotes for another time, aren’t sky rocketed ridiculous prices that we’re not comfortable asking our guests to pay..or for those booked..agree to pay even more originally planned.

On top of sharing our good news this weekend, I’m now on day 2 of feeling pretty good. Pretty good after a little over a week of feeling like shit. Damn you morning sickness. And Its more like all day sickness. Must have been a man who came up with that term..but even if that’s true, why the hell hasn’t that term be changed to something more appropriately accurate over all these years?! Rant over. On top of those good news, I also have great news. Pregnant -I told you so- friend had her baby early this morning. Easter Monday and April Fool’s day baby. Weighing in at exactly 7 lbs of beautiful bundles of flowers and unicorns and all things sweet. Shes gorgeous. Sadly I was supposed to be there for the birth, but after getting home yesterday evening and having and early night, we missed it. I’m sure I’ll get to see her another time any who. Once now not pregnant friend has got her energy back, and Baby Pink is awake for at least half the day would probably be a better time I think. Now not pregnant friend would probably agree.

Well here’s my update on the last little bit of life, expect me back more if I’m feeling this way every day! I bet you’d be as happy as me! Next post remind me to tell you about mother in-law sending my rugrat for a swim in the water hole this weekend. And by sending him for a swim I mean pushing, and by watering hole, I mean ice fishing hole. But more on that next time.

Time for crowd change

Friends, Pregnancy Leave a comment

Ahhh hello again! How much I’ve neglected you these last few days. I’m sorry (I’m not sorry) my life has gotten terribly uneventful recently. Not really sure how that happened. I refuse to believe it has anything to do with that pink equal sign. Is this really what happens? Your pregnant and then your life just becomes boring? Oh how I didn’t miss this. Maybe I’m just not hanging out with the right crowd anymore. Time for a new friend circle. I’ll be back once I find one. Until then, or until something crazy happens. Chow!

It’s not official until its Facebook official. Thoughts on keeping Baby Ginger a Secret.

Everyday Life, Pregnancy Leave a comment

Long time no see..well for me anyways..  I took an extra long weekend from blogging. Didn’t have much to say, and I don’t now either. Thought I’d drop a line and let you know I’m still alive. Well Since last Wednesday, regretfully, nothing super eventful, or blogworthy if you will, has happened. I could tell you about how I couldn’t hold in my secret. You know the B word. (I’m talking about the baby). So I broke down and told my awesome step Mom. Ginger and I were waiting to tell our parents in person. My daddy-o wasn’t going to be home until, well now last Friday. He’d been away working. I had to tell the awesome step Mom. We see each other almost everyday…and even if I don’t see her, we still talk. She’s more like my best friend. I can talk to her about anything. From periods and bloating, to parenting, to sex and blow jobs, and waxing va-jay jays to what I did that wasn’t so great or exciting in my day to everything in between. Usually if we’re hanging out..when not at her house drinking coffee and smoking cigars, we go for lunch or supper, or just drinks and appys. Our favorite restaurant is Earls, so we go there a lot.. Once a week at the very least. If were not chatting Kathys over food..its tattoos. I’d say that’s our second favorite past-time. So since there’s a few of these I’ve had to cut out of schedule  since being knocked up..I’ve been trying to avoid Awesome Mom. I knew I’d be all awkward, and she’d figure it out. Plus I’m a bad liar..and I’d look guilty about something I’m sure. So anyways..while doing none of previously mentioned things, we text. It’s our primary way of communication. And Screeewww you! If you think we can’t effectively show emotions or have a real emotional connection over texting. Those people who say that…do not have the emoji app…allowing to efficiently, and effectively show emotions with plain text. So anyways, that’s how I broke the news to her. Ok, maybe that was a bit impersonal..but we were texting..and I couldn’t hold it in. Not only that, she wasn’t exactly up for drinks and appys the following Friday. Not that she wasn’t up for it, but Daddy-o wasn’t sure if he’d be up for it, once he got home from work. I knew I had to make them up for it. Let them know it was important. So I broke down. I told her. Well I never came right out and said “I’m pregnant”. No. I sent her a picture of the stick I pissed on. (Ew a bit? Sorry). So it worked. After that she was on board. She said we’d keep it a secret from Daddy-o, and I told her I wouldn’t tell Ginger she knew. Secrets all around. So as far as I know Daddy-o doesn’t know Awesome Mom knew before him, which is fantastic..he might be a little upset..but can you blame me? I don’t think so…keepin a secret from your best friend, is like keeping a secret from yourself. Impossible. I wanted to tell her the minute I freaked out when I saw those two pink lines..but I knew I had to tell Ginger first..well first after I told the travel agent..and the Bestie. So now I have 2 more weeks until we can tell the In-laws. The anticipation is killing me! I’m playing it over in my head. We’ll get there. Ginger will go see what his Dad is working on, I’ll go see what Mommy In-law needs helps with..my guess is supper probably..we’ll bullshit with them, we’ll have supper. Somewhere in there I may be offered A drink..which I will accept..but not drink..just to ward of suspicion. Then Ginger will tell them the news. Mommy in-law is a crier. So she might cry, until she realizes baby B will be here when we were suppose to be leaving…then she’ll say “Didn’t I tell you? I told you, I told you so.” Not too sure what gramps gunna say. He’s a quiet guy..and hope hes not too mad about the trip being moved..Thats the trouble with quiet people. You never know quite what they’re thinking. I can usually read people pretty good. My father in-law though..no chance in hell. So usually when I can’t tell, and he might possibly be less than pleased, I smile a huge awkward unnatural smile…I’ve heard smiles are contagious..so hopefully it brightens his mood…instead of thinking that I just look stupid. And then hopefully everyone will be happy..I mean it wont be the last time a plane leaves to the DR. I hope in laws think of that right away. Like I said that’s still two weeks away..and then I have another 5 long weeks before we tell the world. By telling the world, I mean announcing it on Facebook. April Fools is coming up, and I almost considered saying I was pregnant then…but then I can’t say just kidding..and the rest of the family wont know yet. So bad idea. You’re the lucky ones. You get to know about my whole life, pretty much just when it happens. There are no secrets here. Like I said before…you don’t censor your diary. Although…maybe I’ll rethink that statement..or maybe not. Sucky eyed prudes should have left a long time ago.

For the Sake of Matching Mittens, and the Disgusting Lady’s House

Everyday Life, Pampering, Parenting Leave a comment

Well after all the excitement in my life in the last little bit of this week, it was time to pamper myself. I got me eyelash extensions…almost.  I went to a lady, who does them out of her home. Now before you jump to conclusions, and think this is sketchy, you should know a lot of people (at least in my neck of the woods-and by woods I mean province) have been to a strangers house for some sort of service at one point or another. I know nails is a popular one for ladies around here. Waxing is also available, and hair, and now looky, eyelash extensions. The lady who did mine I thought was charging a great price! 50 bucks for a set! She wanted me to come for some trial lashes to make sure I didn’t have any reaction to the glue (its medical grade). I thought this was super awesome since I’ve never had extensions before. First of all let me tell you this is a superb price, I think…because I got real mink false lashes. But..theres a catch. I have to drive 45 minutes 1 way to this ladies house. 2 days in a row. That equals 3 hours of driving time in total. Plus the 45 I had to be there for the testers..and who knows how long the full set would have taken. So anyways I pull up to this ladies house. It’s not the most beautiful or most organized of houses,  but I remind Ginger that lots of people’s houses aren’t pretty in the winter. Almost a strike one. Then I ring the doorbell, no answer. Shes not home. I just drove 45 minutes and you’re not even here!? Seriously? So I text her. Yeah I had to be the one to text her. She’s on her way. Oh good. She gets there, lets me in, and before I even go to step in her door her rat-dogs (also known as Chihuahuas) are jumping and barking all over me. Ok I like animals, and no small dogs aren’t my favorite, but what if I was allergic? Did she even ask before telling me to come to her house for this appointment? Nope. Strike 1. I walk in and take a quick peek around. What do I see? McDonald’s bag with garbage at the bottom of her stairs.. which is right by the entry way, ripped up tissue from the dogs. It was one of those homes you don’t take your shoes off in. So I think maybe it’s just her dogs, tore it up and I got there the same time she did, so she never had time to clean it up. Wrongo! We had to walk though her kitchen to her dining room, which is now her make shift salon area. There are piles and piles and piles of dirty dishes in the sink, overflowing out of the sink, on the counter. Shit just stacked on top of each other. I’m sure that wasn’t the dogs fault. Strike 2. So I hop up onto the table where I have to lay..and when I say table I mean one of those beds you see in a salon when you get a wax, or massage. Lay down and she’s about to get started. Her dogs are nicely positioned right beside us. And maybe I have a heightened sense of smell, but all I could smell the entire time was piss and shit. Strike 3 and I’m grossed out. So she finished, and I could not get out of there fast enough. Today was supposed to be my full set, but you could not pay me enough money to set another foot in that house ever again. Awful. You’re wondering why I didn’t just leave when I realized what I had gotten myself into? I’m not sure…maybe I felt bad for her? I did feel a little embarrassed for her. I guess sometimes…I just try to be nice..and I really was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Plus I really wanted long lashes.

So today, before I canceled, I called my salon I normally tan at, to see how much their extensions are there. $65! Wowzers! And it’s a legit salon, and only a minute from my house. Ok there not real mink, but I was thinking. Real mink extensions what does that mean? Do I have a cats eyelashes on my lashes? Ew. Do I have a dead cat’s eyelashes on my eyeballs? Double ew. I’ll have to look into it. Or maybe I wont..the ick factor just may be too much for this girl to handle. So I made an appointment. I have to wait a couple of weeks to get in. But to me, that’s totally worth it, especially with what I just went through.

After booking the appointment I’m back on the phone. Trying to get a midwife. There are only 2 that serve preggos like me, in this area. Their answering machine says they respond once a week. I called Monday and haven’t heard anything. Yeah it’s only Wednesday, but I’m impatient! So hopefully I’ll hear back from them soon.

After this it’s time to go drop my kind off at the vet. Yes the vet, as in animal doctor. You see, in Canada… just kidding. He had a field trip there today with his class. The plan was to drop the kids off there instead of their school, and after they were done they walk back to their school. It’s about a 10 minute walk. Maybe 4 blocks. And it’s minus 2 as a low today. Not bad weather at all. Before I leave, Dude’s teacher asks me if he has a toque and mitts. Fk. So I’m quick with letting her know I was planning on picking him up..it’s kind of cold for these little ones. She lets me know that they’ll be there an hour. Shit. In my mind I know I could still be in my hair appointment so this kid needs mitts. So because contrary to your belief I actually do love my son. He’s my whole world, and it would make me a little sad knowing he froze his little fingers because I was a bad momma and didn’t have any just incase mitties. Not only that, the judgement from the teacher, and the other moms who are in ear shot would be awful, for my reputation as the good Mom that is. So I let her know (the teacher) that if I don’t think I’ll be picking him up I’ll drop those things off. So I race home. Find a toque. Perfect. I search the winter accessory bag. No mitts. Look in the kids backpacks. No mitts. Look through his messy room in all the nooks and crannies. No mitts. I look through the laundry basket of clothes that need to be folded. I think I seen a mit in there at the bottom with a few odd socks. No mitts. Fk! For a kid who literally has about 50 pairs, do you think I can find one? Nope! So yes I’m the mom who coaches my kid’s soccer team. And yes I’m the mom who stays with their kid during their “special day”, but do you think I’m the mom who can dress their kid properly for a Canadian winter?? I find two odd mitts. There the thumbless kind. Dude’s gunna hate that. But I did grab him a brand name toque..so hopefully that saved face a bit..Let’s be honest. Probably not.

He told me his field trip was good, he said he wasn’t cold on his walk. He also told me he had to wear baby mitts. Sorry Dude, clean your room, and maybe I’ll have a not baby PAIR that I can send with you next time.

Well since he hasn’t gotten to cleaning that room yet, I better get off here and get him to it…for the sake of matching mittens.

Hold the stick!

Pregnancy Leave a comment

Well good morning Tuesday! After I rolled off the blog yesterday, Monday wasn’t anything short of exciting. Scratch that. I meant overwhelming. As you probably wouldn’t know yet. We (Ginger and I) are getting married in approximately exactly 9 months. Yay right? -wait for it- In the DOMINICAN!!! Paarrttaaay!  Double Yay! We can’t wait. Everything is booked, I have my dress, date is picked, and invitations are sent. Already received 2 RSVPs (one was a no, but hey who’s counting). Including Ginger, myself, and Dude, there is about 40 family members and friends who have put their deposit down to spend our special day, and week, with us in Punta Cana. Nothing could be more perfect! Until yesterday. It all changes. I can’t even tell you why I did it, what gravitated me towards Shoppers, but I went in. And I only went for one specific item.  It must be serious when a woman slightly addicted to shopping, and unconsciously makes it a goal to spend more than $100 in any given store in which sells merchandise only buys ONE ITEM!

A pack of gum.

Just kidding. A pregnancy test.  So go home, pee on it, don’t wait 3 minutes, and look at it. Now before I tell you the results. Ginger and I have been trying for baby number 2 for the last 9 months. (what is it with 9 months everywhere?) We somewhat stopped in January…and kind of gave up…for the simple fact we have a destination wedding coming up. And if were being honest I secretly thought Ginger wasn’t working… Rude I know. But you can never never never blame yourself. Woman rule number 1) you are always right. Woman rule number 2) It is never your fault. Soo anyways… we had stopped trying. And then BAM! Two lines. Instantly. And after 3 minutes, they were the proudest damn two pink lines you ever did see. Finally a positive! Oh wait. Oh fk! Wedding is in 9  months. Babies take 9 months! Do I cry? I can’t cry we wanted this. Ok I’ll hyperventilate. Holy fk it’s for real. Oh shit my finger tips are tingling. Oh fk this anxiety can’t be good for the…the.. omfg the baby! Call Ginger. No Can’t call Ginger he’s working. Call Mom. No can’t tell mom, have to wait until person and Dads home from work. Oh no I’m going to get fat. My dress isn’t going to fit. Now I’m sobbing a bit. definitely feeling sorry for myself. Fk my mother in-law was right. Bitch. So was preggo friend. Double bitch. Fk. Fk. Fk. Fksakes for mother in-law and preggo friends for being right. I hate that mother in-law gets to say I told you so. I hate preggo friend gets to say I told you so even more. Fk shit. Fk. Shit. Fk. Email travel agent.

Subject: Uh oh..

Hey so I have a bitter sweet situation on my hands… Looks like I might be pregnant….What are mine and my guests options? Please tell me we have some. …ahhhh worst timing ever!!

Her response.

Oooh that is bitter sweet! Didn’t Ginger’s mom think that was going to happen and I said don’t do it?? lol jk…

Gee wizzz I’m super glad I was so predictable people.

Call bestfriend. No answer. Waaahh. Time to go get Dude from school. Sob about dress. Almost get in accident. Pull it together woman. It’s not the end of the world. Buuuutttt it isssss the end of the wooorrrrllddd! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  Ok. So deep breath. Pull it together. You only have 9 months as Dude being your only child, and 4 hours to think of a cute way to tell Ginger hes going to be a dad again.

Get home, start planning. Looking up ways on the google. Then what. He pulls up. He’s home. 2 hours early. What?! Shit. scrap that idea. Ok. Just tell him. Showed him the stick. His response.

“Pee on another one in a few days then come talk to me”

Uhm what? Is this a joke? Are you being serious right now? Oh gawd now I really want to cry. Not a funny joke Ginger. Talk about your baby mama drama!

And with all this going on, I completely forgot about meeting a stranger at a gas station that I later realized doesn’t exist in my town, to drop off an item, she “bought” from me off of Facebook. I’m such a tool. Perfect example of how self centered people (me) can be. First world problems. Today I’m cool, and collected, and 2nd day of the next 9 months. Which I’m sure will be crazy with my life problems…which to anyone else wouldn’t be problems..I mean I still get a wedding, and a baby. I think I need to suck it all the fk up and deal.

Bidding and Boozing. Now back to Monday

Uncategorized Leave a comment

Rolled out of bed, made a Pinterest breakfast. It tasted like ass. Thats 4 for the Pinterest fails. I look like shit, I’ve got bed head, bags under my eyes, but at least I’m enjoying my morning Keurig coffee. Sounds just like a Monday to me. House is a disaster, after the weekend of no cleaning. Make that a long weekend. I never ended cleaning on my Friday cleaning day either.Days like today make me think seriously about hiring someone to come in even once a month to clean everything.  Ginger (my fiance) and I had talked seriously about it once..having someone come in once every 3 months to do the walls, carpets etc…but he must have forgotten to take his frugal pills that morning, because if I ever brought it up to him again…he’d probably laugh, and question why I can’t do it. My argument of doing such things other than cooking and cleaning, and making sure Dude doesn’t die, never seem to hold up. So much freedom with being a house hermit, but then again, so much is expected…I’m so hard done by I know.

So this weekend was well alright. It was more like a long weekend because the brat didn’t have school on Friday. What is it with all the no school days anyways? Am I paying for all these teacher workshop things? Probably am…do they even have those in preschool? My guess is no. So enjoy your day off while I pay for your mani-pedi and lunch at Earls. The only reason Dude is even in preschool, was so he could interact with other kids. Hanging out with your momma all day everyday probably wasn’t teaching him a whole lot of well…much. After all the basics why would I..my first view on all that was ship em off to school that’s what teachers are for. After that school tour I don’t think that’s the route we’ll be going. I’m kind of half expected to homeschool (even if I’m not actually). Almost everyone on my side of the family does. I wasn’t myself. But I did hate school. I’m on the fence if I actually would have wanted to be. Ginger wishes he was. All the family I have is pretty awesome. Not to brag or anything. There not all weirdo-socially-retarded kids whos mothers make all their clothes. (not that theres anything wrong with a little homemade here or there). But you see where I’m getting. Theres sterotypes, lets not pretend…but lets open our minds a bit to know that not every homeschooler is homely.

Anyways totally off topic. I was going to tell you about my weekend! Saturday was Awesome! Ginger and I got together with our special friends (my only friends) and took them for a steam bath. No not together. I didn’t get to see girlfriend naked. Even for me that might have been a bit far when were trying to stay on the friendship scale of things. Topless is one thing but naked…well you get it. As far as we know they enjoyed it. We did, and we always do. If your not familar with what it means to go steam bathing..Google it. Last winter we’d go every week. What a nice way it was to end off the work week, and help rid your body of toxins…that is before you go and down a few cold ones. Thats exactly what we did this time too. Kind of contradictory I know, but it’s kind of become a tradition for Ginger and I. You steam, you drink. thats just the way it is. We tried out the Brewhouse for the first time for all of us. For me it was a little loud, but drinks were awesome, and the food was even better. If your a Canadian, or visiting Canada make sure you do check out the Canadian Brewhouse. If you like mozza sticks you’ll love the ones they have there. It’s orange cheddar and the cheese is completed melted inside…melted cheesey, deep fried goodness. Get in my BELL-AY!!!  The deep fried pickles are well just alright..I prefer Hooters, but its not something that you can come by very often so its a treat. Everyone said the double dill wings were really good, and we had nachos, and deep fried perogies. Get the nachos forsure but with everything we had, you do not need a full order. The perogies I wouldn’t order again..they make them sound like they’re homemade. There not. If you’ve ever had homemade perogies, store bought just doesn’t compare..but if you haven’t I suppose they’re pretty good.  The ninja turtle danggler (i think thats what those neat drinks are called) is yummerz! Its a shot in a glass you drink through a straw..it tastes like melted slushy. mm mmm yum! Of course I drank caesars..the West End was my favorite. They have a whole list of different caesars they make, and they list the ingredients. This was totally up my alley. If you go on a Saturday you get to drink whatever beer they give you..in a boot…not oringinal your thinking..well you get to keep this boot! Now thats exciting for those of you who steal mugs for your collection! Now you don’t have to!   That probably takes some of the excitement out of taking the mug home, but if your a play it by the rules kinda gal like me, this one really floats your boat.

Sunday was a more of a relaxing day. I took the rugrat out, and we spent the day watching my younger bros bonspeil. Whats a bonspiel you ask. Why its a curling tournament. For those of you not familiar with curling (as I am not also) the thought that curling is somehow boring..is well..still true. That is if you don’t have family curling..or your watching it on TV. Then I can totally see how curling would be well boring. As contrary to belief curling is actually intense! And it really is a lot harder than it looks! Theres so much thought and precision put into it! I thought you just threw the rock down the ice and hope in landed in the middle of the circle.. (which is called a button for you lack-of-curling-educated-people)..

Ginger got off early Sunday so we headed home after sometime at the arena, to spend the rest of the afternoon with him..turns out he got off even earlier than expected..and we planned to spend the rest of the day together… His idea of spending the day together was napping. Oh brother. I get you work all week, and my life is pretty easy..but I wished I would have just stayed and watched the bros..that was much more exciting.  Oh well I guess. Its not his last day (or afternoon) off ever..and its not the last time I’ll see a bonspiel. So not the end of the world.

The relaxing afternoon at home gave me time to check up on my eBay..I actually won a purse yesterday..2nd one in a week..so I guess bidding isn’t that bad. It may becoming an addiction..bidding that is..There is a auction wars group on Facebook for my area. Lucky me won eye lash extensions. Woohoo! I don’t care how fake you may think it is. I’m blessing myself with what God forgot to bless me with. I’m all for body modification if it makes you feel better about yourself. Not saying every 17 year old girl should go out and get a boob job…but sometimes what should be in the cards..always isn’t..and if you don’t cross the -over-the-top- line than I think its fine… But that’s my view on it. If I ever have a daughter, and you ask me when she’s 16 what my views are on the situation.. I can not say if I’d still honestly agree with what I’m saying now. But as for now, I have a son in preschool, that I’m pretty sure doesn’t want a boob job or eyelash extensions anytime in the near future (and hopefully never). Speaking of preschool, its probably time I see him off.

Missing remotes and boring lunches

Everyday Life Leave a comment

Yesterday mother in-law texts. She’s out shopping around at the mall with her buddy, and asked if I’d meet them for lunch…We ended up going to a restaurant I actually like, and let me assure you, it isn’t fast food. That wasnt the only bonus about lunch yesterday. Not one comment was uttered about anything I eat…or dont. Woohoo! Progress! So the lady I portrayed as the monster in-law really isn’t. Let me make this clear. She was not fit for the monster in-law title before yesterday. I can be a little dramatic sometimes (mainly all the time).  She’s a wonderful woman…she’s very opinionated, as am I.  I just know for the sake of our relationship I keep my lips zipped when she’s around. Yes, oh I totally agree,  Yeah I guess your right, I’ve never thought of it that way.  See how un-opinionated I can be? Blah that’s boring. But I’m sure your guilty of it too. So cut the crap  of be yourself blah blah blah. If you have in-laws, you know how to play the cards. Your other halve knows your whole half, which I guess is just your whole, and that’s who your with anyways…right! So lunch went well, Buddy who’s loud, and a woman that needs no other description was actually…well quite. What the fk! Well quiet lunches can make for a pretty boring and awkward, uneventful afternoon. Might aswell of sat in a corner facing table by myself. Sheesh! I suppose it’s the company of others I should be enjoying. It was a lot of so who hows the weather?, yeah remember the weather that day? Dude eat your (disgusting) potatoes, why are you going lingerie shopping? whats the occasion, oh Mexico? Cool!

Shoot Me.

So as you can see, It’s not like I look for eventful, or exciting things to go on during my day, they just happen. So when I get a day like yesterday thrown in, you can see how disappointing it can be…for me anyways…and probably for you too, if your actually reading through all of my daily posts.

You know what I can thrown in today… I could tell you about my love for online shopping, and especially eBay! But you know what I really can’t fking stand?! Being outbid! You know when you find something you want, buying outright isn’t and option..you have 2 days left and there has been ZERO bidding history…then you bid and BAM! your counter bidding every 5 minutes! Fk I hate that. Like as if its not the seller, bidding on another eBay account. Arrrgg!  You know what else really grinds my gears. Loosing the remote. Not the TV remote..I could care less about that one. But the sound bar. This morning was supposed to be a morning of watching Frankinweenie with Dude, but no sound bar remote to be found. Screw that idea if I can’t feel like I’m in the theatre. Dude’s now being forced to clean his room to help find said remote. I’ve looked everywhere! I may have just maybe thrown it out, the day I was cleaning that was NOT cleaning day. Remember? The day speedy prix went for a rip and we had our special company over. Of course it went missing after that day so deep down I really want to blame them. Hey bitch you took my remote! Give it back! But then I start thinking sensible. What would they want with a remote anyways? Yeah exactly, nothing. I guess I should get down to really really looking for that thing… I’ve looked in all the obvious missing remote places, and there is no way I’m digging through the garbage outside. So If anyone had any helpful, unlikely places to suggest, I would greatly appreciate it.

Yours truly,

Spoiled brat who can’t watch regular sounding TV